Two friends, Smith and Jones, went together to play the slot machines at the casino. Each agreed that when his allotted money was gone, he would go to the front of the casino and sit on the bench to wait for his friend. Jones quickly lost all of his money and went to sit on the bench. He waited and waited and waited and waited. After what seemed an eternity, he saw Smith coming toward him carrying a huge sack of coins. “Hey, Jones”, said Smith, “How’d you do?” “Well, Smith”, said Jones, “you see me here on this bench — what do you think? It looks like you hit it big, though”. “Oh yeah”, said Smith, “did I find a good machine! It’s way in the back. I’ll show it to you — you can’t lose! Every time you put in a dollar four quarters come out!”
A blonde was in Vegas vacationing with friends. She was standing in front of the candy machine and put two coins in, turned the knob and a candy bar fell out. She picked up the candy bar and put it in her pocket, then she proceeded to put two more coins into the slot and turned the knob, again a candy bar fell out and she put it in her pocket. She put two more coins into the machine and again turned the knob producing yet another candy bar. A man was watching from a short distance away and walked up to her. He said, “Excuse me Miss? What are you doing?” She said, “Duh! I’m winning here!”
Three buddies decided to take their wives on vacation for a week in Las Vegas. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they returned home and the men went back to work, they sat around at break and discussed their vacation. The first guy says “I don’t think I’ll ever do that again! Ever since we got back, my old lady flings her arms & hollers, “7 come 11″ all night & I haven’t had a wink of sleep!” The second guy says “I know what you mean…my old lady played black jack the whole time we were there and she slaps the bed all night and hollers “hit me light or hit me hard”, and I haven’t had a wink of sleep either!” The third guy says “You guys think you have it bad! My old lady played the slots the whole time we were there and I wake up each morning with a sore dick and an a$$ full of quarters”.